Some of life's little lessons.

External Since: May 11, 2004 Posts: 12

Life Lesson #1
When your motorbike has been on 'reserve' for 25 miles, don't go past
an open petrol station at 10:30 pm because you know the one 2 miles up
the road is cheaper.

Life Lesson #2
When your bike has run out of petrol, don't push it to the closest
petrol station, push it to the closest OPEN one.

=================
Here's the scene. Picture it if you will. A man (we'll call him Dick
as he obviously is one) pushes a motorbike along a road late at night.

10:45pm. Dick is tired.
Dick's bike is heavy. It is hard to push along the road. Dick has
been pushing his bike for a long time. He is very hot and tired.

Dick pushes his bike around a corner and sees a big sign showing
petrol prices 100 yards away. Dick knows that petrol price signs
usually mean petrol stations. Dick is happy.

Then Dick sees that the sign is not lit up. Something is wrong.
Dick's overheated little brain slowly gets to work and he thinks,
"Poohead." (Or possibly some other words that have the roughly the
same effect.) The petrol station is shut. Nobody here will sell him
any petrol. Dick is sad.

Life Lesson #3
Don't live alone.
Instead, live with someone you can ask to deliver a full can of fuel
to you when you are stranded, otherwise you will have to do the
following when you run out of petrol:
1. walk 2 miles home with soft luggage (#4 - buy hard luggage with
your next bike?)
2. get in car with petrol can
3. drive to an open garage and fill can
4. drive to bike.
5. fill bike, empty can. start bike.
6. ride bike home. (damn! where's the car?)
7. get on bicycle
8. bicycle to car
9. bicycle into car.
10. drive home.

Paging KoTL PM?

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037 YZF600R

External Since: Feb 24, 2004 Posts: 10

037 <foyrnb DeleteThis @hotmail.com> wrote in message news:<8j9la0lf4cfp14c0qo3938n2a5de3hktl7 DeleteThis @4ax.com>...
> Life Lesson #1
> When your motorbike has been on 'reserve' for 25 miles, don't go past
> an open petrol station at 10:30 pm because you know the one 2 miles up
> the road is cheaper.
>
> Life Lesson #2
> When your bike has run out of petrol, don't push it to the closest
> petrol station, push it to the closest OPEN one.

Unlucky. On a related theme, this happened to a us once:

1. Convoy of 3 race trucks (ie rusty old 7.5 tonne IVECO's) and 1
Transit towing a shite old caravan returning back from a week's bike
testing in South of France.
2. We all fill up with deisel.
3. 5 or so miles up the road matey pulls over so we all stop.
4. "Is your wagon running OK?" he asks. "Yeah fine" I reply. "Mines
like a sack of shit." he responds.
5. Transpires he misread the pumps and filled up entire tank with
unleaded.
6. We syphon out the whole tank full of unleaded into the ditch at the
side of the road.
7. No-one lights a fag.
8. Another mate goes off in search of petrol station and fills large
gerry can with deisel.
9. Full up truck.
10. About 15 minutes of churning engine over (thanks to 24v and two
massive batteries) follows. Plenty of coughing, spluttering & banging
but no go.
11. We contemplate what the fuck to do to get a 4.5 litre, 6 cylinder
turbo-deisel engine to work when its had petrol through it, in the
pitch black, somewhere in rural south of France.
12. We have one more crack, churning engine over for ages, throttle
wide open, cough, black smoke, cough... Brooooooommm. Clouds of shite
out the exhaust. It goes!
13. Several hours later we're lost, and we're all on last dregs of
deisel. We all virtually have ran out and its 3am.
14. We spot a tiny petrol station in some little village, all park up
in layby beside it and kip until morning when we'll fill up.
15. We're all awoken at 8.30am by commotion as we discover we've all
parked our dirty great rusty pikey trucks in the entrance to a primary
school and no-one can get in.
16. Before the police arrive we fire up, fill up and fuck off for the
ferry.

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