hey mike

On Tue, 5 Oct 2004 00:16:08 -0400, "john" <john.TakeThisOut@ain.nnt.here> wrote:

 >go to bed, it's late & a slow night
 >john
 >
 >

Hey john!

I was in bed when you sent that... weird:) I'm *totally* shredded from my
all-day lesson in cop-riding Sunday with the head instructor from one of
our New England State Police groups. He KILLED me. My floorboards were
rode hard and put away wet... and a fair amount smaller than they were
prior to the lesson:)

He can *RIDE*... Oh, Sweet Merciful Jesus in Heaven, he can ride....
*fearless*.... He had ridden a KZP until '95 and they use them for
trainers still with the new guys. He just LIT UP when he got on mine. Said
it was set up really nice. He started off showing me how to get on the
bike... right side, not left.. curb side, not traffic. Makes excellent
sense.. and it looks cool:) We started out on slow circles... I suck... I
blow... I rot... I am less than worthless.. slime on the boot of the
community of Real Riders... He is God... no helmet... God doesn't need a
helmet... talking to me while he drove around me explaining how to do it
very casually... close enough to reach out and touch with a bent arm *all*
the time... my boards singing against the pavement... my KZ finally doing
what she was made to do... I could see the bike's soul... and it was
saying: Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of lean angle... And danced the
tar on laughter-silvered Dunlops...

I tried... I did my best but that means NOTHING when you *suck*... Out of
politeness, because he is a gentleman.. he said I was better than 99.9% of
civilians he sees... one of those polite euphemisms people employ to avoid
speaking the real truth, "Compared to me, you give new meaning to the
concept of 'suck' ". He IS a gentleman... The day progressed.. I made some
progress, but you'd need an electron microscope and x-ray vision to see
it... It's SO cool to see how this crap works up close and personal, and
then have someone who can PUSH, push your ass to do the right thing at
just the right time.

It's been a while, and it's important to me that I reiterate that I
*suck*.

I carry red plastic dixie cups with me to serve as cones for practice...
He was amazed I had them (or incredulous at what a dork and a poser I must
be to do so) and we set up some drills, like "the keyhole". The keyhole is
a "circle with a gateway" into it... looks like a keyhole from the top. It
was two parking spaces wide and one parking space deep. Looked big to me
when I was on foot.... the swaggering poser that I am... Once I was on the
bike, it appeared... smaller. When plastic cups tell their history, this
day will be what the Little Bighorn was to Custer's people... a very very
bad day. Oh the.. plastic. It was ugly, but the possum prepared me
emotionally for this savage carnage... I saved them but I know they won't
come back.

I did the first keyhole right. I thought no problem. That was it for at
least 25 minutes. It turned out to be only a lucky move. When you enter
"the gate" at 6 o'clock, you fall/countersteer hard to the right to get a
tire placement that will let you finish without slaughtering too many
innocent cones. Then you pop back up and begin the hard left turn. By the
time you get to 4 o'clock, you're looking back to your left and praying
your initial settings in the friction zone, and throttle, and rear brake
are right. Though.. if you're me.. you find out praying doesn't do dick.
Because I suck. And I am destined to go to rider hell when I die... the
sooner the better for all of us. Anyway, if I'm still in the circle by
some act of God (who is standing outside the circle coaching the crap out
of me the whole way... "keep your head up".. "tire placement"... "look
inside NOW"... "find the gate... you're looking at the gate"... "motor
control" (meaning I'm being too ham-fisted with the throttle and clutch),
etc), and I'm approaching 12 o'clock I needed to remember to pick up a
solid visual on the gate. You'd think this would be simple. Just LOOK AT
THE FUCKING GATE!!!!! No... that's what people who don't suck do.. On the
rare occasion I'd pick up the gate, I'd be struggling with smooth motor
control. I'd be HAMMERING those poor f'ing cones and 10 o'clock... I'd get
it sometimes... other times I'd embarrass motorcyclists everywhere.
Sometimes I'd dab! KILL ME. And sometimes I'd get ALL the way back to the
f'ing gate and then run over the poor gate. Or just look down when I'd
clear it and hear "DON'T LOOK DOWN!!!". And out into the *larger* world,
where I'd pull off a DAMN good U-turn in another double parking space and
dive back in to the keyhole for another one.

Every now and then, God would get on the KZP an pull it off, while talking
to me... and give back 2' all the way around. It was both beautiful and
totally disillusioning. I thought I was getting there... But I'm closer to
the beginning than the end. Because I SUCK.

The importance of "head and eyes" and motor control can't be overstated.
Which sucks because having broken my neck on a hockey rink in 1990, I have
at best 2" of chin travel either way and have to make up for it with torso
rotation and counterbalancing. I've worked on this a ton since the
session, but I'm pretty sure my f'ing spine is going to keep me out of the
bigs, though it won't be for lack of effort. Man... it was cool seeing
what bike control looks like in person and being given the secrets. I'm
doing MUCH better when I go back to my traditional haunts, and I'll
guarantee I need new board bottoms by spring.. but I'm pretty sure I will
not get anywhere near he is. Sucks.

Next lesson in a couple of weeks.... dinner afterward on me again. Gotta
practice!! Later.

Mike
In pain
And the King of Suck


--
Mike W.
96 XR400
74 CZ250 Enduro
70 CT70
71 KG 100 (Hodaka-powered)
99 KZ1000P
BRC, AMA, NETRA, NOHVCC, NRA

"Why do they call it Cobra Grass?"<!-- ~MESSAGE_AFTER~ -->