Am I having fun yet today?

I went and looked at an old bike this evening and the frigging thing
broke down on me when I was out on my test drive. What a hassle after
that. The purpose of a ride is supposed to be to *ride.* The guy said
that he thought that either the valves or the carb was off a little so
silly me thought a test ride would shed some light. Everything and I
mean everything was off. The battery, the clutch sounded like you were
grinding a pound of hamburger, the carb came over on the mayflower, the
tires were crazed, no relationship between the throttle and the engine,
adjustment of the choke made no difference to the engine. He wanted 500
dollars for it. An old KZ440. He should have paid me to ride his bike.

This all came about because I already have one old bike that has eaten
me alive so I figured that if my boy is going to be in town why spend
1500 dollars to get another rideable bike when you can always get
another old one for 300 and just put what turns out to be 1200 and
every weekend into it. Whats wrong with this picture class? For a
fleeting moment I thought that if I could get that bike for next to
nothing that I could always use it for a parts bike. Then I had this
flash of brillance that said that even if you get a bike as a parts
bike, it should have some parts on it that work. Duh.

I have noticed how owning an old bike turns you into a low-lifer. I
have been down more old roads with guard dogs in front of houses to get
carb parts. I have been to salvage yards managed by Charles Manson. A
couple weeks ago I went to a salvage yard a hundred miles away and when
I got there I noticed that the entire field out back was filled with
bikes but that the river had flooded and only the handle bars were
above water. That's class with a capital K isnt it? And then you sleuth
all over the net like some pervert looking for that one part. And when
you try to get around it by going to the dealer, they want more than
you paid for the bike for some diddly part that has about as much
technology in it as a bottle cap.

This is going to be my first and my last old bike- although I do have
her running pretty decent now I must say. Nevertheless the next one is
going to be no less than ten years old. As Bette Midler says, "I have
standards. They are very very low but I do have them."

Probably I am not the first one to discover all of this.

Winter