--HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM IN THE SOUTH
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of
men's used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with
a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and your
NRA magazines.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots
and magazine.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim,
I went for more ammunition.
Back in an hour.
Don't mess with the pit bulls - they attacked the
mailman this morning and messed him up real
bad.
I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to
tell from all the blood.
Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.
Better wait outside.
Cooter
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