OT: Gift philosophies

Being smack in the middle of holidays and this being a daily question, I'm
seeking to broaden my understanding about the options available when
selecting gifts for family and friends. Starting when I was in high school
and had my first self-generated discretionary income, I have made a solid
effort to get The Perfect Gift for those most important to me. This effort
has increased each year... The definition of "perfect gift" has become
more exactly defined... more.. challenging to meet, over time. I now catch
myself seeking the "home run gift" for my wife and daughter and a few
friends. This occurs at Christmas as well as other normal gifting times...
birthdays... anniversary... mom's/daughter's day.. etc.

A home run is, according to current thinking, something that first meets a
critical out-of-the-ordinary need... if such a need exists. And then if no
such need does exist both delights and surprises the most. I don't think
these are especially bad things to shoot for though I'd hate to imply to
any in here I am less an asshole because of it. They are not mutually
exclusive:)

Early on... these are easy objectives to realize. A toboggan when we first
got married. I remember I *knew* that would work the moment I saw it.
Really, no effort. Or when microwaves first came out, I remember getting
my parents the best one out with pay earned from my first real job was a
huge home run (even if getting the enormous box home in a Trans Am in the
snow was a challenge... it added to it actually:) (actually, that year I
got pulled over by a Mass State cop for driving home with a HUGE stuffed
bear seat-belted into the shotgun seat for my then girlfriend/now wife for
obstructed visibility. Dork.). As time goes on... it's still not real
complicated to hit home runs for my daughter because she's a different
person each year. You just have to listen. For my wife, it's much harder
each year to figure out what the home run gift is... Personally, I can't
stand gift certificates. Those feel like I'm telling them I wasn't willing
to put the effort in to figure out something that would make them happy to
receive it. 3 years ago... my current SHIT Mercedes was actually a
carefully orchestrated Christmas gift to my wife... Safety... comfort..
convenience... She could stop driving the car she had then which she
didn't like (and for the life of me, I can't recall now... I need some
tuna). Home run on Christmas day... I felt like I got the most perfect of
all gifts (friends put it in the driveway at 2am Christmas Eve night and
the key was hanging from the tree as an ornament.... You have any idea
what it costs to replace that damn key????). And until we realized that
the $5000 fancy seat package was killing her back, it remained a great
gift. Now, even that year as some will remember... I thought it was a
little less perfect because it costs too much. In my mind, the *art* of
the gift is about the impact... not the price. Price is a cheap way to
impact... it's cheating. I believe the following would be a good model for
how I compute the goodness of the gift:

Homerun Q factor = Impact/cost

Anyone can buy a result... art requires thinking. Another corollary I hold
to this is that gifts of some kind of experience... building memories..
are better than "stuff". Instead of "stuff", I fed my daughter's love of
all things Japanese by taking her to NY... giving her a shopping spree in
a store she never gets to see... lunch (with all the pain and horrid
tastes and no blood flow from my ass on down) in a very authentic Japanese
restaurant... dinner with a friend visiting from Tokyo and his artist
wife. My best ever with her:)

For my wife, all the events since the car... birthdays.. Christmases...
whatever.. I'm killing my ass trying to hit that home run. I'm certain
this is a fault in me... it *must* be out there. She's by no means
demanding... like.. her list has stuff like a "new outlet on the Kitchen
counter" on it. But the search... beyond a certain amount of effort... is
royally destroying the holidays for me. This is my absolute favorite time
of year, but I'm programmed to hit the home run.. It's my *job*... I can't
let people down on this... I'm just curious what you folks all do. Am I
just coming up short on good ideas or is there another path? So far, this
holiday season ***sucks*** because I can't come up with squat that meets
the definition. Any and all perspectives appreciated.

Thanks,
Mike




--
Yours respectfully,
Robert Falcon Scott
N42d 07.084'
W72d 22.344'

"Had we lived, I should have had a tale to tell of the hardihood,
endurance, and courage of my companions which would have stirred the heart
of every Englishman. These rough notes and our dead bodies must tell the
tale."

00 Kohler-driven Snow-Fighter
96 XR400
74 CZ250 Enduro
99 KZ1000P
BRC, AMA, NETRA, NOHVCC, NRA

So far, this
 >holiday season ***sucks*** because I can't come up with squat that meets
 >the definition. Any and all perspectives appreciated.
 >

Mike:

Is it a gift for her? or a vindication for you?

Ask your daughter for suggestions. Bianca usually has excellent ideas
for what I should get Jenny. She called me up a few days ago to point
me to a hat and scarf that her Mom liked while they were shopping
together.

Beyond that, I'll think on it.

Jim Hall
520 EXC and others
turning Money into Noise...<!-- ~MESSAGE_AFTER~ -->